My Angel
by SilverJem5
Summary: Being compared to an angel always made him feel embarrassed. Inadequate. "I'm not an angel," he wanted to say, to anyone who called him one. "I'm far from it." OC story, set in the Shadowhunter world.


**My Angel**

 **I decided to write a story about my new OC character, Dustin, just because I felt like it. Oh, and a lot of things in here are made up, in the way I see them, e.g. unicorns. So here it is…**

* * *

 _ **~"Even when muddy your wings sparkle bright wonders that heal broken worlds."~**_

Dustin had never intended to catch the eye of the Seelie Queen.

In fact, he had gone to great lengths to avoid her. He had always felt intimidated by her intense stare and her carefully manipulative words. But his ethereal appearance – unusual for a faerie - had quickly caught her attention, with his large white feathered wings, a little reminiscent of angel wings, and his matching white hair.

She had been amused and enchanted by his appearance and his awkward personality, and had repeatedly requested his presence.

He couldn't refuse her, of course.

He didn't have a choice.

* * *

 _ **~"Sometimes an angel is found in the dark."~**_

 _After being summoned again, Dustin paused a little distance away, looking down at the ground, rather than over at her. However, out of the corner of his eye, he saw her beckon him, patting the bed beside her, and he swallowed and walked over slowly, sitting down._

" _Come, sit, my angel," she crooned. Once again, she had used her favourite nickname for him, and he blushed, his red cheeks standing out against the white of his hair and wings and clothes. Just the way she liked it._

 _Laying a hand on his chest, she pushed him down against the pillows, and he looked up at her with wide eyes. He nearly sighed in relief when she lay down beside him and passed him a book._

" _Read to me," she said, although it was clearly a demand, not a request._

 _So he carefully opened the book and read the words, trying to keep his voice from trembling. She rested her head on his wing, and her hair was like blood, staining his wings of snow._

 _When he finished reading, she pushed his hair back from his eyes, and whispered in his ear, her breath warm against his cheek. "You're so cute, my angel. But nothing can stay pure and innocent forever."_

* * *

 _ **~"We all are men, in our own natures frail, and capable of our flesh; few are angels."~**_

Being compared to an angel always made him feel embarrassed. _Inadequate_.

" _I'm not an angel_ ," he wanted to say, to anyone who called him one. " _I'm far from it_."

He may have looked slightly like one, but he didn't feel like one. He was too impure and awkward and uncertain and scared.

He imagined angels as mighty, all powerful beings. He was so far from that, that it was laughable.

He was simply a lost, frightened faerie.

* * *

 _ **~"It's like we have the bones of animals and the hearts of angels."~**_

 _His fond memories from the Seelie Court revolved around his best and only friend – a unicorn._

 _Unicorns were such majestic creatures, although fickle, but he had found one he got on well with. Even though the unicorn could not speak aloud, it chose to communicate with him in his head. Dustin decided that either such an act was a rarity, or he was crazy, judging by the looks faeries gave him when he told them._

 _But he didn't care what they thought, and he delighted in riding with him, when he was allowed to. The unicorn would bump his shoulder playfully, signalling it was time, and he knew he would be able to climb onto his back with ease. The very feeling of riding with the wind was exhilarating, and he had to fold his wings on his back, otherwise they would resist the wind and slow them down._

 _Once someone asked what Dustin had named him, and he had merely shrugged in response. There was no name regal enough for a unicorn. In fact, it would be offensive to name him some forgettable mundane name. So he didn't even attempt to._

 _Unicorns were smart creatures, Dustin soon learnt, and he took care to listen to what they said._

* * *

 _ **~"Nobody's perfect. We're all just one step up from the beasts and one step down from the angels."~**_

Dustin wasn't sure why, but he _hated_ being he spotted even the slightest speck of dust on his wings, he had to clean them until they were pure white again.

After the first time the Queen had kissed him, he had rinsed his mouth out six times, and had scrubbed at his lips until they were sore and red. When she so much as touched him, he felt the need to wash his whole body, the feeling of being _dirty_ too much for him to handle.

He took to wearing gloves, fearful of touching things with his hands.

The pursuit of cleanliness became like an obsession, over time.

* * *

 _ **~"It's too cold outside for angels to fly."~**_

 _Eventually, his fear became too much, and it was the unicorn who convinced him that he had to run away. He knew it was true that he couldn't take it much longer, so he reluctantly agreed._

 _The Seelie Court was all he knew, and he didn't know where else he could go. The worst part was that he knew he would have to say goodbye to the unicorn. He couldn't come with him, because he belonged in the Seelie Court, and he wouldn't be able to live anywhere else. They weren't quite as adaptable._

 _Dustin didn't feel adaptable either, but he supposed he had to try._

 _There were tears in his eyes as he collected his meagre belongings and said goodbye to his only friend._

 _Who knew what new horrors awaited him in the mundane world?_

* * *

 _ **~"Angels are like diamonds. They can't be made, you have to find them. Each one is unique."~**_

He felt bewilderment when he first encountered the mundane world.

It was so loud and bright and fast and confusing and he just couldn't keep up with it. However, his curiosity was like a living thing, yearning to be fed. It reminded him of when he was a child, always exploring on his own, and observing the world around him. When had he lost that spark of curiosity along the way?

Because he couldn't do a simple glamour yet, everyone stared at his wings when he walked outside. He tried not to flinch when someone brushed his wings as they passed. They just took up too much space.

He blushed when people whispered and kept his head down, pulling on his gloves. Did he really stand out that much?

Despite the horrible food and the loud noises, he had to admit he was fascinated. The mundanes did everything differently, and they were so _alive_ and _animated_. It was refreshing, for a change.

He felt like maybe he could live there among them.

* * *

 _ **~"For truly we are all angels temporarily hiding as humans."~**_

Finding refuge at the Institute helped to ease his doubt and worries.

They were nice there – mostly – and he finally made some more friends. There was also a faerie called Aspen, whom Dustin didn't mind because he was friendly, however, he remained cautious around him, because he reminded him a little too much of the Queen at times, which was disconcerting.

He tried to blend in more, by changing his clothing colour, but there was little he could do about his wings.

Although he cleaned his wings every day, he felt like he couldn't quite wash away all the grime that remained from the Seelie Court. He still felt dirty and unclean, and the thought kept appearing in the back of his mind.

But he slowly learnt that maybe that was okay.

After all, he wasn't an angel.

* * *

 **The quotes were from works by (in order): Aberjhani, K. Webster, William Shakespeare, Baxter Clare Trautman, Jeannette Walls, Ed Sheeran, Jaclyn Smith and Brian L. Weiss.**


End file.
